While this has certainly been the most unconventional romantic relationship of my life, Tim fits into all those categories. Someone I trust, respect, and share experiences with. Someone who helps me discover aspects of myself I didn’t see before and for whom I can do the same. On a whole, I’ve experienced it as being committed to someone I am passionately interested in. I guess love is something you just have to experience and define for yourself. What does it even mean to love someone? It seems almost impossible to universally define such a complex state of mind since we all experience life so uniquely. I downed a few miniature bottles of red wine to drown my sadness, and I finished the last chapter of my book.ĭid you learn anything new about Timothy? I listened to Lana Del Rey’s Born To Die on repeat, which helped me through my last breakup. We boarded the plane, and I cuddled up in the window seat with a blanket and pillow. He agreed, and he said it would be better to end things now before he could screw things up even more. I told him that as deeply as I care for him, he deserves to be with someone he is crazy for, and I deserve to be with someone who is crazy for me. He said he still didn’t feel it was right between us. I asked him if his feelings had changed since last night, or if he wanted to try to make it work. Tim finally broke the silence, and suggested we address the elephant in the room. Tim watched the basketball game while I read my book. We schlepped our bags through security, and we ate dinner at the bar of some Mexican restaurant in silence. Around 5:30 we took the Magical Express back to the airport. The combination of the sun, alcohol, and exhaustion from the walking must have dehydrated me. After we ate, I began to feel quite faint. The constant noise and visuals at Disney’s Animal Kingdom proved to be the perfect distraction from the disappointment and pain.Īround noon we sat down at an outdoor bar and drank margaritas.

We didn’t speak about last night’s events. We spent the morning running around to the various rides. lettering by Dana Tanamachi Jessica Walsh

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